I realized yesterday as I sat down and read through the history of my blog that I left out one very important thing in my blog. Some history. (grab a drink and sit back - it will take a while). I have no idea why I had the need to post it, but here goes...
On May 17th, 2003 David and I got married. I graduated law school May 11, 2003 and we were married not even a week later. We were married at our church by our pastor and my high school youth minister. I took the bar in July, passed and was sworn in on September 29th, 2003. It was on that date I stopped taking birth control, and we decided to start trying to have a baby.
For six months we tried to no avail. I had googled just about everything trying to diagnose myself. We quickly went to my OB, Dr. John Thompson. He agreed that I should be pregnant by now, prescribed Clomid and ordered a laprascopic surgery to determine if something was causing a problem. I had told him, I was 29 and didn't want to "keep trying" I wanted to be proactive. So he picked up the ball and ran. Not three weeks later I had surgery. When they rolled me in, I knew the "procedure" should last about 45 minutes. When I woke up in recovery a significantly longer period of time had passed. I knew the news couldn't be good. Dr. T came in and broke the news gently to David and I. Both my tubes were blocked by what appeared to be scar tissue. I had quite a bit of endometriosis....but the tube blockage was what was causing the main problem. He then referred us to Dr. Judith Blackwell.
Within two weeks we met with Dr. Blackwell (I said I wasn't playing around). We were told in vitro was the only way we could conceive. I struggled with doing fertility treatment because there are so many children to adopt. But to be honest, my insurance from work was going to cover a significant portion of the treatment, so we decided to give it a shot. During the first round, I did not create enough eggs to "harvest". More tests were ordered and we were "canceled" from the cycle. It was during that time we got bad news times two. First - my FSH levels were low, google it if interested, but lessens the likelihood of one getting pregnant. Second - we met Dr. Prough....the partner of Dr. Blackwell. He told us, with no warning and with great confidence, that I would never conceive a biological child and to look into donor eggs. He was so brash, that we actually left laughing, thinking, did that guy really smash our dreams with such ease? He actually suggested donor eggs, which I didn't want to do. I didn't care about having a biological child, but frankly, if I was going to have a child that was biologically someone else's child, I sure as heck wasn't hip to carrying it. I never had a need to be pregnant...just a need to have a child....(not opposed to donor eggs, to make it clear!)
Dr. Blackwell called and said Dr. Prough was incorrect and in her opinion we could conceive if we still wanted to do a in vitro cycle. I had come so far, I decided to do an entire cycle. Cycle 2 - same song - second verse. Still very few eggs. I had six eggs, five were able to be harvested and four were able to fertilize and four grew. I put three in...and waited. Three weeks later, a positive pregnancy test...but low levels. They were very honest, it appeared I was going to miscarry because the levels were low. The next day I started spotting, and it never stopped. My sweet friends Dionne and Carole came to my house to sit with me as I went through this. Once I had fully miscarried - we went to Senior Tequilas and had some much needed margaritas....This was in August of 2005.
After that I was done. I didn't even want to think about having children. I poured myself into my work, neglected my marriage, we bought a boat, I think another car...and David and I lived parallel lives. We decided to take a cruise with our friends the Ducatos. We went on a one week cruise, secretly I hoped to get pregnant - who was I kidding...but I "started" on the cruise. That was April 2006.
Also in April we were contacted by a family who had a young daughter, Rachael, who was pregnant. They were looking for a family. We communicated every week and decided to fly to Texas to meet them in July 2006. I fell in love with Rachael and her family. We sent pictures back and forth. We even convinced them to have an open adoption so that the family could follow up on the baby girl and maybe meet her one day if they chose. They finally decided that an open adoption wasn't so bad. I had saved the ultrasound to my desktop at work. I booked the hotel, flight and car....we were going to get a baby! But we didn't tell anyone, to this day, I am not sure why....
In May of 2006 we (my sisters and I) were asked to speak at a mother's day breakfast. That is really what I needed. To talk about my mom, with my sisters, who were all mom's at a mother's day breakfast....HELLO - all I wanted to do was be a mom!!!!! I digress.....so I wrote my speech on how much I admired my mother. But ended with how my mom had continued to remind me that through my infertility that I would have a family. That is right girls - I stood up in front of all the women in our church, balled my eyes out and told them that I couldn't get pregnant. Our pastor saw it and asked me to speak in church the next day. I thought - what the heck....so I did. And I balled again. But I was painfully honest about my inability to have a family.
Not even a month later......I was pregnant....
You guessed it.....tears. To be honest - they were tears of sorrow. I had a baby, it was in Texas, to be born in September. I couldn't do both...I was devastated. I thought we figured out God's plan, it was Rachael's baby. I was so confused and hurt. The only person in my family I would admit my misery to was my baby sister, Molly. I knew she would understand and not judge me for being sad that I was pregnant. She understood, didn't judge me and helped me through my feelings and helped me to get back around to happy. I killed me to tell Rachael and her mom that we got pregnant....she cried, I cried again....but eventually she found another family, had her beautiful baby girl, (she sent me pictures) and they had an open adoption....
Ragon was born Feburary 20th, 2007....My doctor asked me if I wanted birth control...I thought he was crazy, I told him after all the fertility money I spent, was he on crack? He said "if" I was to get pregnant again, it would be in the first year. Ragon's first year flew by and no baby...On her first birthday....I was sick as a dog....and guess what? Greyson Michael Francy....Picture is David after Greyson's birth. Look closely. Scrubs has both their feet print from their births...
So that is my scoop....that is how my family became a family. I am very open to fertility questions, and anything you might want to know. I love to pray for those trying to have a family, and I am open to telling you all the nitty gritty about fertility treatments. But please hear this....Dr. Thompson, Dr. Blackwell and Dr. Prough are excellent physicians. I do not blame them that "they" could not get me pregnant....If I had gotten pregnant, I would not give them the credit either...You see I believe God had a plan for my family. And the best or worst doctors in the world can't and won't change that plan. If you call me wanting a better physician or a different referral, you will get complete honesty from me. If you want a physician to fix your problem, you are looking to the wrong healer.....
