Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Perspective.....

Lately I have learned a lot about perspective.....I recently was sitting on my computer at home reading my sister's blog. As I read it, I came across a comment from a girl named Kim....Kim had commented innocently on my sister's blog regarding adoption. But had briefly mentioned that she had recently lost a child. I was intrigued so I decided to read her blog. About four hours later, my perspective on my life was forever changed. I am attaching a link to her blog. (http://bevinsfamily.blogspot.com) I know most of my girlfriends and friends from church read this blog and this woman's faith is unbelievable. To make it quick, she has lost two children - Carter and Lucy. Both of these children died shortly after birth. She is refreshingly honest about her struggles, her sadness and anger at the situation. She is also honest about her unconditional love for God and his ability to pull us through the storms that come in our lives.

This week, I was hospitalized for bleeding, Molly's daughter Sadie has been hospitalized for the past few days for a fever that is still undiagnosed, Laura had a brief scare with hearing her baby's heart beat (don't worry - they got it)...but as I sat there, I refused to be sad or frustrated with God. When my back is killing me and I think indigestion is about to eat a hole in my stomach, I refuse to gripe. After all - I am still pregnant. Please take some time, read this blog from Kim - she (and Lucy and Carter) taught me to be thankful for what I have in life. It is SOOOOO easy to take things for granted. If your child wines and it irritates you - remember that you DO HAVE A CHILD. If your pregnancy is making you miserable - remember that YOU WERE ABLE TO CONCEIVE. If your newborn is keeping you up, remember, someone else would love to be wakened by the cry of their child....This woman really moved me and her story changed me.

To Kim - I hope this is okay - but I couldn't leave it unsaid. I wanted to share your gift with some of my friends. And I figured it was on your blog, so I hope again you understand the extent that your children have forever effected my perspective....I struggled with whether or not to post this, as I didn't want to offend you, but then when I logged on your blog today, I saw this poem...and realized....you would want me to continue to mention Lucy and Carter...

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent
Please....take some time out of your schedule and read about Lucy and Carter...it may seem sad, but I assure you....you will walk away a better woman. I know I have.

2 comments:

Terra said...

Becki,
Thank you for passing this along. As I am nearing the end of my own pregnancy I find myself quick to complain about end of pregnancy issues, but no longer. I am thankful for the miracle of being able to carry a child and will forever be changed from reading Kim's blog.
THANK YOU!!!

kim said...

Okay... gulp! You have me crying here!! I certainly don't feel as if I am some amazing woman of courage...I simply am a mommy missing her babies and loving her family, and trying to muddle through life :) I choose to grieve with a purpose and a vision for our future, otherwise I would settle in a place of anger and dispair. Wow, didn't mean to get deep here.

Anyway, Becki, thank you so much for your kind words. I am honored that my sweeties have added meaning and perspective to your life. After all, that's what mommies what for their kiddos, right? for them to matter and have a purpose!!

Hugs to one of my newest blog buddies!