Today is a day that my heart is heavy. This morning, I went to the cemetery. I got a call from a sweet friend, and she was taking flowers to her children's graves (for one's fifth birthday). She asked that I meet her there. I had the honor of sitting with her as we cleaned their graves, pulled away the leaves and placed flowers in the vases. I sat there with such a heavy heart. She didn't say much...as there really isn't anything to say. But my heart hurt as I listened to her silence...sniffles and watched the tears and they snuck from beneath her sunglasses. I can only imagine if I was hurting, how torn her heart must have been at that moment.
When I got back in my car, I looked in my rear view mirror....and I lost it. I saw the sweet blue eyes of my son and began thinking about his surgery on Monday. I became fearful with thoughts of all the bad things that could happen. My mind was running in circles. You know how fear is....but then I had such peace for two reasons. As we were leaving, my friend told me what she had heard on the radio. Read it HERE. The second reason is that I know...I know....I KNOW - that God does not give me a spirit of fear....it is Satan. And so - I put the car in drive, wiped the tears from my eyes and said to myself, "God has got this".
So my thought was this....cherish today. Fear steals your joy. I could have spent the day sad, dreading Greyson's surgery on Monday. Worrying the cyst will turn into cancer, or that he dies on the table. I could have spent the time at the cemetery worrying...."will I be here next week" with my child? But that would be living in a spirit of fear....Instead, I was able to squeeze the neck of a truly special friend, spend the day with my children, tickle my son and laugh with him, and play with my children and do a crafts! We cannot live in fear of what is to come....we have to walk by faith that God is in control and will not give us more than we can handle.
So today, and tomorrow, on Carter's Birthday, squeeze those little necks just a little harder, be slow to anger at their little tantrums and disobedience, allow her to wear the shoes that don't match her outfit, don't make him brush his hair....and when all those things make you think you are about to lose your ever loving mind....remember one thing....YOU got to have that child today....and not every mom is holding her child today....
Baby Girl is 12 Today!
4 years ago